Golf-Themed Apocalypse: The Best Accessories To Have For The End Of The World
When the end of the world comes, and golf courses become the battlegrounds of survival, you'll want to be equipped with the best. These accessories are not just about staying alive; they're about maintaining a sliver of sanity in a world gone mad. Okay, no, they're mostly about having a good time before you inevitably die after getting stabbed in the butt by a former used cars' salesman.
Birdie Finger - Polo
You may not be very good at golf, but you can pretend that you are. Dress up like someone who knows how to dress with this super stretchy and comfortable polo shirt, and wear it to go to combat with fellow hungry survivalists.
Home Wrecker - Hat
Picture this: Full of rage, you swing as hard as possible, accidentally let go of your club and hit a goat. Moments later, the whole golf course is on fire. Also, you realize you forgot about the broccoli at the bottom of your fridge from three months ago. Oh no, that's right, you don't have a fridge because we now live in a post-apocalyptic world. Embrace who you are with this Home Wrecker hat!
Casual Cucumbers - Q-Zip
These cucumbers are casual as hell. Absolutely no inappropriate connotation here. This SFW Q-Zip is perfect for any post-apocalyptic golf game where you would somehow need to stay appropriate as to not offend the zombies or something. Look long and hard, but you won’t find any hidden images on this perfectly fine piece of clothing.
‘Merica - Blade Putter Headcover
How free do you feel? With this patriotic headcover, you’ll be making uncomfortable freedom moans. Hmmmmm, yeah. Those damn Europeans can't compete with us. Sorry, fellas, we’re not interested in croissant-themed golf accessories. Wait... Okay, actually, maybe we are. We'll start brainstorming right now.
Drunk Driver - Coolie
Cover your beer with this so you can keep it cold and have an excuse for how poorly you’re playing. This may be the last beer of your life, considering it's the apocalypse and people are probably killing each other and all that. So enjoy it!
Whale Tail - Towel
This towel is perfect to clean your balls, wash your hands, or wipe off the blood off your face after an intense physical fight inside an abandoned Ben & Jerry's. If you look closely, you might fall victim to some sort of optical illusion.
Now if the apocalypse does come within your lifetime, you can't say you didn't know how to prepare. At least in terms of having one last round of golf, that is.