AUGUSTA, GEORGIA – Multiple people witnessed a strange man on a large grass field behaving in an erratic way, repeatedly hitting a tiny ball with a metal stick in an attempt to put it in a hole.
“He was doing it for hours, like it was some kind of messed up religious ritual or something”, said Lauren, a tourist from Oregon who was hoping to have a nice, quiet walk in the park before getting distracted by what she describes as ‘a terrifying sight’. “He would even yell out strange words lie ‘fore’ and ‘albatross’, so I think he may have escaped from the nearby psychiatric hospital”, added Lauren, who immediately packed her bags and shortened her stay out of fear for her and her family.
Other witnesses reported that he was drinking a beer covered in a coolie that said ‘I never pull out’ and was wearing a polo covered in the word ‘assman’, which contributed further to the atmosphere of fear.
After trying to get information from passersby in the area, it seems some people believe that the deranged individual exhibiting signs of psychotic behavior may have been engaged in a sport called “golf”. For safety reasons, the local police still recommend that people stay away from large fields of grass, especially if they notice holes with flags in them.