Quiz 1: Which Bogey Bros item should you buy first?

Are you paralyzed by decision anxiety? Victim of the paradox of choice? Put your free will aside and let us guide you so you don't have to feel responsible for anything ever again.

Okay, you won't have to feel responsible for your first purchase on our website, but we're not sure we can help with the rest of your life.

Let's start!

What do you think about when you’re about to hit the ball? A) Nothing. I’m in the flow state, perfectly focused on the game. B) That I could die right now wearing this ridiculous outfit instead of Bogey Bros clothes C) The physics of the golf ball traveling so far away and how the laws of the Universe were probably created by aliens D) Lustful, disgusting, shameful thoughts about mayonnaise that I really hope nobody can read

What do you love most about golf? A) It’s the only way I can escape my pigeon collecting addiction B) Being able to replace my anxious thoughts with depressive thoughts C) “Love” is a concept invented by governments to make us comply D) It reminds me how insignificant I am compared to nature, infinity, and that golfer who once called me a wuss

How many rounds of golf have you played in your life? A) More than 10 B) 0 - 10 C) None of your business. Who told you to ask me this? Who are you? WHO SENT YOU?!! D) Does it count if I beat up a guy with a golf club once?

Which one of these items makes you feel like “Hell yes, I can win her back”? A) I Heart Cart Girls B) Birdie Finger C) Sex Panther D) A cushion of Nicholas Cage looking like Shrek (not available on our site, sorry)

What’s your opinion on mini golf? A) Whatever floats your boat, I’m not here to judge B) Sexy C) It’s a decadent activity that will lead to the destruction of western civilization D) It’s a great way to beat kids at something

How does our hat + polo bundler make you feel? A) It forces me to face the paradox of choice which leads me to feel crippling anxiety B) Talking about my feelings makes me uncomfortable C) Like it’s a distraction so we don’t pay attention to whatever the Illuminati are up to D) I feel like you’re just trying to sell me stuff (we are)

What’s your preferred way of using hats? A) To cover my head. Duh. B) To ask for tips after hosting a German karaoke night C) I wear them in reverse so people know I’m cool D) As a weapon like in that early James Bond movie

Are you happy? A) Umm… This is starting to feel a bit too personal B) Only if you are! C) Can I give you an elaborate answer by calling you? (no you can’t) D) Yes, but I’ll be happier once I get myself one of these fun coolies

Results:

If you mostly answered A: You’re a down-to-earth, polite and respectful gentleman. It’s quite obvious: you need our “I’d tap that” hat.

If you mostly answered B: You’re a sensitive person who needs a hug and a cold drink. Get this nice coolie and relax.

If you mostly answered C: You’re a paranoid nutjob who looks for hidden meanings everywhere. Our “Hidden Words” polo is exactly what you need to keep indulging in conspiracy theories.

If you mostly answered D: You’re a complex human being with a tortured soul, fighting many demons. Remind people who you really are with this ball marker.

Are you filled with desire to buy more than one item? Build your own bundle now!