Louis Hanson, 38, took up golfing two days ago and has been struggling to relate to his non-athletic friends ever since, despite him being still severely out of shape.
“We’ve just become different people, you know?”, said Hanson, whose doctor recently told him he was at great risk of suffering a heart attack “at any moment now” and that golfing once or twice a week isn’t going to stop death from coming after him in the near future. “People change and that’s okay I guess. Now that I’m into exercise and stuff, we’re just not on the same wavelength anymore and they’ll never fully understand what it’s like to be an athlete”, added Hanson, who hasn’t even completed a whole round of golf yet but is very enthusiastic about his Bogey Bros ball markers.
“It’s getting a bit annoying, he keeps comparing everything to golf and even said ‘I’d rather be on the green’ after intercourse last night”, said Hanson’s wife who already can't stand seeing him in a funny golf polo anymore.
Half an hour ago, friends of Hanson reported that despite having bought a whole hat bundle, he recently decided to quit golf “because it was too tiring” and insists that from now on, “bowling is where it’s at.”